Connections

The bonds that tie us to each other and the things around us are stronger than we realize. Can those bonds actually be broken or do we just move those things, to which we are connected, to a pile in corner somewhere until we stumble upon them at a later time? I’m realizing that I’ve made some interesting connections throughout life. Some good and some bad, but with each I’ve taken something away, some lesson, without which, my life would not be the same. Every person, place, and thing that I encounter has a reason and what I choose to do with them, or not do, is up to me. Add to that people that depend on the decisions that are made, based on connections that they don’t even know I have.

Our first bonds are with family. As a tiny baby we learn to trust and interact. Growing up comes with friendships and enemies, love and heartbreak. Entering a career brings working relationships. Through it all we are collecting objects that attach us even more. Memories and places, days and times, joy and sorrow are all stored for us to reference as needed. There is immediate family, extended family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and those that we just pass by without thought. Each one touching us in some way and slowly helping us to mold ourselves into being. But ultimately the choice of how to be is up to us. These things all influence us to a degree that we get to determine.

So after breaking an object that connects us to a certain time or place, is that connection lost? We mourn when these things happen but the memories are still there. They are now just removed from our everyday sight. The object will only be thought of when a similar one is noticed or maybe when we think of the person who gave it to us. Or it may be stored in the back of our minds for years until a smell triggers a memory, taking us back to a long ago time when that object existed. Even with the object now gone the connection remains.

We can suppress bad thoughts and feelings but they still have that tie that creeps up and throws itself around our necks reminding us of what we’ve been through. Do we let those thoughts control us or do we force them back down and chose to make decisions based from positive situations? Maybe we choose to dwell on the negative and never put it away. Is there a way to overcome those negative connections and learn from them instead of suppression or dwelling on things no longer in our control?

People that we encounter give us connections and interconnections. Through the people in our lives we create memories and are given theirs. We are given and take objects, thoughts, and lessons. What is kept and brought forward again for future use is up to us. Connections can also be left to dangle in the wind through neglect, whether conscious or not. Can these connections be picked up again or do they wither away with time? If we do pick them up again is that thread that we hold the same as the one we kicked aside? Maybe more delicate? Can it be strengthened?

Children give us a way to view these links forming. We get a chance to watch as they learn and grow. Adding to their connections through experience, friendships, sports, and school and in turn adding to ours. How do we teach them which relationships to focus on and which ones to walk away from?  Unless we also teach them self reliance and interdependence, showing them positive ways to use life’s connections, they will use our reactions as a basis for theirs. As their guardians we are their strongest connection in life, be it a positive one or a negative.

We get to control our own lives with the help and hindrance of our many connections. All the connections we make in life can be equally strong if we let them be. It’s our choice what we take away from each link in life. Which ones we strengthen and which ones we let gather dust.

 

 

Connections

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